ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
