It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
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A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
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I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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