I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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