I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
