On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
