Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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