I CAN MOONWALK!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
