If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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