I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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