Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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