I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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