This is not my ceiling
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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