things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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