spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
