Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
