I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.