Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
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the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
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I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush