Betty ford says i'm here all night
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Randomize