I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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