"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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