he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
