I am in a vortex of obligation.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
