i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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