I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
home. puking in laundry basket.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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