im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
