Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize