At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
