Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
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