so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Of course I have a pirate flag
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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