SEEEEXXX PLEASE
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
