I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
