We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize