You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I believe in your delicious
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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