Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
