I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
