Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
