i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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