you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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