it glows. i had to have it.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
