Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
