It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
