I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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