shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
