ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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