She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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