Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This baby is an asshole
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
