maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
