How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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