remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
