Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm at about main and main street
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize