In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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