I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
