My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I think people are normalizing furries
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
