I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
