I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
