Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
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I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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