He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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