Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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