She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
