I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
well you can't waste a boner
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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