Do you still have your period?
I'm jealous of your bromance
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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