my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
