I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize